Whenever I get the chance to spend a dollar or two on something new I tend to keep it held for certain items that I would spend “that last dollar” on.
Boston Creme Zingers, Big Grab Sized Honey BBQ Twists Fritos, Hawaiian Punch 20oz… etc etc
Today, while in my local Family Dollar with my younger sister and mother, I came across a whole aisle of dumbass boxed candy for a dollar. 2 to 5 oz boxes of knock off movie theater candy. Right down to the ill fated cartoon characters that have been spawned only to represent a shipment or two of poorly sold merchandise and forgotten in the long run… its a shame to see cartoon die. However the fact may be, I just wasn’t in for candy tonight and Doritos weren’t sounding fun either. Had Mexican for dinner.
One whole section of aisle was a grab bag-esque style of snacks labeled crudely for a dollar. I looked at my younger sister and told her to pick one out. “I got a dollar to spend if you pick it out.” She knows the rules. Only one thing is offlimits; blueberries. My hatred for blueberries will be discussed on a later date, literally I hate blueberries as equally as much as racism. She glanced over the section and jostled her hand on a few things.
Circus peanuts… good lord I hope nope, sour neon gummi bears… I’m not gonna get that lucky, black licorice stars… oh that bitch wouldn’t dare make me waste a dollar on something as vile as… in that moment of thought she quickly snatched one off the shelves and grinned from ear to ear..
She hand selected Coconut Macaroons, and honestly, I dodged a bullet here. I don’t expect her to be as nice in the future, for you see… we both grew up with a mutual distaste for coconuts. I don’t know about her, but for me it has always been a texture issue for me. I have gotten over it in recent years and I am happy as Hell that I have. Missing out on coconut is not something I am too proud of to be honest. Notice that these aren’t chocolate covered nor do they come with a dipping sauce. Also the smile I mentioned… oh yes, she wanted me to hate these.
I tried to love them at first. The bag is hefty, definitely getting the right amount of munchies for your dollar. The aroma of coconut is always welcome. The size of these macaroons were even perfect for someone of my stature… giant and ogre like… look I can hold three at once singlehandedly with ease
I love bite sized things. Being able to ingest anything like vitamins is always appealing right? I threw one back as I turned on the Xbox for my most recent adventure through the world of Skyrim. Moist and chewy mouthful after moist and chewy mouthful I caught myself slowing down and admiring the Generic Ass Coconut Macaroons. That was the beginning of the end. Munching up to this point I had been enjoying the bag of sweets for one reason, they were edible and cheap. Damn I am a frugal bastard, but I aint gonna let this Generic Ass Cookie off the hook, its time to break it down…
First off, nice job on the fake ass “toasting” job on every individual macaroon. There is no taste difference and it really looks like some caramel coloring commonly used in dark sodas today. No way someone is hand torching these things for a dollar a bag at punk ass Family Dollar, nor are the lines of incineration perfect enough for them to have been lit up by a machine. The lack of flavor is unbelievable, they have all the good makings of a coconut snack; moisture, coconut texture, bit sized… but the flavor is… I can’t say honestly.
Water? Its damn close. Its like water with a tad bit of sugar in it. This weak excuse for a french cookie WISHES it were the guts of an Almond Joy. If you are desperate on filling up on flavorless sugarfilled cookies and getting fucked because you know your dollar could have bought a can of Pringles instead, then buy these Generic Ass Coconut Macaroons. A Munchie with no taste is almost as bad as a disapproval from your parents…
+ Quantity far exceeds the dollar you spenf
+ Moist and soft
+ Only a Dollar
– Waste of aforementioned dollar
– Not really toasted
– Not an Almond Joy
– Not to be consumed like vitamins
Overall Munchie Rating: 4.5/10 These will get the job done in a pinch because of the amount you get for the dollar you spend, however; you are NOT going to enjoy the trip there. Even if you do enjoy these type of Munchies you won’t be impressed by any of this, nor will it meet your par standards.
TRY TO AVOID ANYTHING YOUR SISTER SUGGESTS 🙂