Review: Generic-Ass Coconut Macaroons

Whenever I get the chance to spend a dollar or two on something new I tend to keep it held for certain items that I would spend “that last dollar” on.

Boston Creme Zingers, Big Grab Sized Honey BBQ Twists Fritos, Hawaiian Punch 20oz… etc etc

Today, while in my local Family Dollar with my younger sister and mother, I came across a whole aisle of dumbass boxed candy for a dollar. 2 to 5 oz boxes of knock off movie theater candy. Right down to the ill fated cartoon characters that have been spawned only to represent a shipment or two of poorly sold merchandise and forgotten in the long run… its a shame to see cartoon die. However the fact may be, I just wasn’t in for candy tonight and Doritos weren’t sounding fun either. Had Mexican for dinner.

One whole section of aisle was a grab bag-esque style of snacks labeled crudely for a dollar. I looked at my younger sister and told her to pick one out. “I got a dollar to spend if you pick it out.” She knows the rules. Only one thing is offlimits; blueberries. My hatred for blueberries will be discussed on a later date, literally I hate blueberries as equally as much as racism. She glanced over the section and jostled her hand on a few things.

Circus peanuts… good lord I hope nope, sour neon gummi bears… I’m not gonna get that lucky, black licorice stars… oh that bitch wouldn’t dare make me waste a dollar on something as vile as… in that moment of thought she quickly snatched one off the shelves and grinned from ear to ear..


She hand selected Coconut Macaroons, and honestly, I dodged a bullet here. I don’t expect her to be as nice in the future, for you see… we both grew up with a mutual distaste for coconuts. I don’t know about her, but for me it has always been a texture issue for me. I have gotten over it in recent years and I am happy as Hell that I have. Missing out on coconut is not something I am too proud of to be honest. Notice that these aren’t chocolate covered nor do they come with a dipping sauce. Also the smile I mentioned… oh yes, she wanted me to hate these.

I tried to love them at first. The bag is hefty, definitely getting the right amount of munchies for your dollar. The aroma of coconut is always welcome. The size of these macaroons were even perfect for someone of my stature… giant and ogre like… look I can hold three at once singlehandedly with ease


I love bite sized things. Being able to ingest anything like vitamins is always appealing right? I threw one back as I turned on the Xbox for my most recent adventure through the world of Skyrim. Moist and chewy mouthful after moist and chewy mouthful I caught myself slowing down and admiring the Generic Ass Coconut Macaroons. That was the beginning of the end. Munching up to this point I had been enjoying the bag of sweets for one reason, they were edible and cheap. Damn I am a frugal bastard, but I aint gonna let this Generic Ass Cookie off the hook, its time to break it down…

First off, nice job on the fake ass “toasting” job on every individual macaroon. There is no taste difference and it really looks like some caramel coloring commonly used in dark sodas today. No way someone is hand torching these things for a dollar a bag at punk ass Family Dollar, nor are the lines of incineration perfect enough for them to have been lit up by a machine. The lack of flavor is unbelievable, they have all the good makings of a coconut snack; moisture, coconut texture, bit sized… but the flavor is… I can’t say honestly.


Water? Its damn close. Its like water with a tad bit of sugar in it. This weak excuse for a french cookie WISHES it were the guts of an Almond Joy. If you are desperate on filling up on flavorless sugarfilled cookies and getting fucked because you know your dollar could have bought a can of Pringles instead, then buy these Generic Ass Coconut Macaroons. A Munchie with no taste is almost as bad as a disapproval from your parents…


+ Quantity far exceeds the dollar you spenf

+ Moist and soft

+ Only a Dollar


– Waste of aforementioned dollar

– Flavorless

– Not really toasted

– Not an Almond Joy

– Not to be consumed like vitamins

Overall Munchie Rating: 4.5/10 These will get the job done in a pinch because of the amount you get for the dollar you spend, however; you are NOT going to enjoy the trip there. Even if you do enjoy these type of Munchies you won’t be impressed by any of this, nor will it meet your par standards. 


Posted in Desserts, Dollar Munchies, Munchies, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Review: Blue Bunny Premium Ice Cream Red Carpet Red Velvet Cake


Alright all you bastards, sit down and listen up because this quart of ice cream made me slap myself silly twice before breakfast. Duff Goldman has apparently signed on with Blue Bunny in an endorsement deal that has pasted his face and charming signature on the front of Blue Bunny’s newest premium line of the frozen creamy stuff we all love.

Walking through my local Kroger, on Delaware Avenue here in Charleston, I was making a mad dash to get a few things that were necessary for the next couple of days. Toilet paper, cat litter, bread, milk, and (of course) off brand frosted flakes. The essentials of any 20 somethings male that has to ensure nobody will be left up a creek without a paddle. Rounding the corner and grabbing the gallon of 2% , on sale for $1.99, I stared down the final aisle of the store and saw nothing but pandemonium. Every swamp donkey and their mother was fighting for yogurt and cheeses throughout the aisle. So I made an unusual detour.


The ice cream aisle was, astoundingly empty, being overly astute I can’t help but read every label as I walk past the items. Everything sounds top notch because we have suffered some severe heat related weather problems in West Virginia. Something meets me at eye level and begins to jiggle its giant tits at me. The Blue Bunny section, the smallest in the ice cream aisle, Duff Goldman and his sweet bro-smile captivated me with reassurance, the lines of red on the cover of the container reached down my pocket and… well I will stop there.

I made it home within minutes of my purchase. Duff Goldman and his Red Carpet Red Velvet Cake almost made sweet love to me in the middle of the store, I’ll be damned if I wasn’t going to finish what he started at Kroger in my kitchen as soon as I unloaded the rest of my groceries. Getting down to business, I popped off the rim of the container with ease. Blue Bunny really deserves credit with its newest container for its ease of use and its durability. I took the spoon I snatched out of my silverware drawer and carved right into red fluffyness that seemed smoothed over the top of the batch. The bite I took was amazing, but the best way to describe it all is to display the beauty of what my spoon had bequeathed upon…


Do you see that shit? All of the white? The red swirls? We are talking real deal flippin’ layers of cream cheese flavored icing ice cream and red velvet cake ice cream. On top of that already awesome mixture we have chunks of REAL DEAL MOIST AND DECADENT CAKE. I don’t know how it’s done. I honestly don’t give a flying fuck either. I just know that its BAD ASS. BAD ASS like Samuel L. Jackson BAD ASS. How do you not freeze cake in the middle of ice cream? Blue Bunny figured it out, and they also figured out on how to make a munch-a-holic nearly reach food nirvana.

Blue Bunny describes this ice cream as follows:

“Rich, red velvet cake flavored ice cream is elegantly paired with cream cheese frosting flavored ice cream and red velvet cake pieces.”

It aint bullshitting you people. I opened up this ice cream tub ready to be completely satisfied if what I was going to eat was at least closely resembling a Bingle… you know what a Bingle is; those dry ass red velvet cake knock off that BlueBird (coincidentally named) puts out at gas stations.


This ice cream far exceeded my expectations. In fact I have never had an ice cream or a cake as delicious as this ice cream is. Not once have I ever had the complete sweet package like I had when I ate Red Carpet Red Velvet Cake ice cream. That being said, many a sleepless night and mindless gaming sessions have been complimented with Duff Goldman’s supposed recipe at request. Nothing has hit the spot quite like this ice cream has and nothing probably ever will. However that is one of the primary points of this blog, not just to let you know what kicks ass at the grocery store, but also to let you know what kicks the most ass at your grocery store.

Because kicking ass is what munching is all about…


+ Real Red Velvet Cake

+ Easy and Durable Containment

+ Real Cream Cheese Icing

+ Wide Range of Availability


– Pricing (I got it on sale however…), its not as cheap as your store’s premiums

– Not an endless supply

– Duff Goldman not included

Overall Munchie Rating: 10/10 … I know, I know. I started this blog out with a perfect score. I need to clarify a few points here. 

Number 1.) This is the best damned ice cream I have ever had

Number 2.) I am one harsh critic and I hate most things and people

Number 3.) Every kind of sweet munchie I review from here on out will be compared to this ice cream on a critical basis

So What do you guys think of Duff’s stuff?

Posted in BAD ASS, Desserts, Frozen Desserts, Munchies | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Let the Munching Commence!

Welcome to The Munchie Grader. My name is “Big” Josh Hudson and for years I have been going to the supermarket (usually a local Foodland, Sav-A-Lot, or Kroger) and I find items that I know I am going to want to try late at night. The kind of late at night snacks that insomniacs come to know and love. Taco Bell refers to this as the “4th Meal”. Clever yes, but true no.

You see, munchies are in fact, munchies…

You aren’t gathering a whole meal fit to be called breakfast, lunch, or dinner; you are merely trying to fill that void that needs to be fed so you can get a good night’s rest. The Anatomical Effects of the Munching Affected is something that will come into play here on the blog and that will all be explained in due time,

What you need to know right now is that I am a fat bastard with a severe case of insomnia. I also happen to have no health insurance and I believe in toughing through things. I CAN NOT, for the life of me, slumber without filling that Munchie Void.

I know I am not the only one out there; all types of things will be reviewed here and I hope I can keep enough of you couch potatoes and Dorito eating lovers contempt with the dedication I plan on delivering.

Munchies are SERIOUS business!

Coming Soon:


Blue Bunny Red Carpet Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream

Bagel Bites Three Cheese

Mountain Dew Dark Berry

McDonald’s S’mores Pie

McCafe Chocolate Chip Frappe


The Anatomical Effects of the Munching Affected

The Store versus The Drive Thru

Seasonal Munchies to Look Out For: Summer Edition

Fan Contributions are ALWAYS welcome and SUGGESTIONS are even more welcome! Do you have something you want me to review? I will pay for the shipping and post a VIDEO as opposed to a written review for anyone that wants to challenge me to a “Munch Off”

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